Monday, September 17, 2012


Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
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Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight that's already been won"
[ Lyrics from: ]
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed

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All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
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But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed

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I don't have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
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I've got a new name, a new life I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home    

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I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed
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Tuesday, September 4, 2012



There are two parts to ever heart.
The part that knows what it is.
And the part that knows what it is suppose to be.
Daily there is a battle, it is fierce, it is constant, and it is for everything.
All chips on the table, you read them and weep.
What will become of me. What will become of my heart.

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For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Romans 7:15
The struggles are in everything we do.
Every word spoken.
Every thought allowed.
Every little action.
And emotion felt.
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For me, I have struggled with a spirit of timidity.

I have found that the more I allowed myself to let these emotions fester, the worse they got.
To the point where I wouldn't even want to go into a store I had never been in before.
This of course is a silly thing.
I have felt from a young age that my heart was meant to be free.
Not free from love or order, or emotions.
But free from the constraints of the world.

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Some people have hearts that are bound my form. Their hearts are of such that they always know the proper thing to do. Their hearts rejoice in the comfort of know how to act and how to make others feel at home. A most valuable sort of heart to be sure. Not bound in the sense of  shackles but of the sense of a great a mighty mountain. Who will never go far, and will certainly never fly. Yet it is no less. It is a haven to many wild creatures, a comfort and guide to travelers.                                     
All this to say that I am indeed not one of those souls.
As much as I would like to be
I am not.
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I am of the kind that longs to run through wild fields.
And climb great mountains.
And to live each day in the most adventurous way one possibly can.
This however does not come from a spirit of fear.
for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and of self control.
2 tim 1:7
This is my struggle.
One of many.
There is a song by a wonderful Christian band called Chasing the Son
The song is called Up in Smoke
this first line goes like this
" My nature defies my hearts desire,
so why do i do that which I hate,
I need a Savior to rescue me from my self
for I see no escape"
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I need a rescuer ever day.
One that can break off the changes I would bind myself with
and free my heart to fly
that is something that only our dear Lord can do
I use the example of myself because it is a story I know
Every ones story is different
and ever ones the same
we are all in great need
we need someone to slay the dragon around our souls
because no one was ever became who they were suppose to be trapped in a tower.
I digress into a fairy tale analogy because it rings with truth I think anyone can ever understand.
The Prince could not rescue his princess until he himself is free
A princess can never live a life of love trapped all by herself
 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
Romans 7:22-25
We are no longer sin
but free people
who serve the mighty and just King.
So as I sit here in front of a computer, legs Indian style, drinking a caffeine coke, I do not feel particularly adventurous.
Sometimes its simply enough to rest in the comfort of knowing God.
As we go through our lives, we must surrender day by day our bandages
and let the love of Christ give us wings.
I pray that for you and for me.
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Until next time

Friday, July 13, 2012

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"Beauty is dangerous." Gerard Manley Hopkins

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"Beauty will save the world." Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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Beauty invites, beauty nourishes.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters... Listen, listen to me, eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isa 55:1-2

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God created beauty, everything we take as beautiful from flowers to love, to babies, to poetry, God is author of it all. Our broken world speaks of Gods heart, a heart of love.

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"The beauty of the world is almost the only way by which we can allow God to penetrate us... Beauty captivates the senses in order to obtain permission to pass straight through the soul... The soul's inclination to love beauty is the trap Go most frequently uses in order to win it." Simone Weil

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If our God is beautiful, how does that affect the way we live?

If God is beautiful, then beauty is a good, sacred thing. It means that we need to understand that as part of God’s creation, even more than that, as having been made in the image of God we as humans are beautiful.

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Not in the straight nose, nice teeth, high cheek bones sort of way, though some of us have that. But that we have a soul, a soul that we are to invite others to know, so that they can heal their hearts. We need to be tender to every person we meet, because they have a delicate soul hand crafted by God.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God forgave you.”  Eph 4:32
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It means we are to look past the fallen depravity of people and to call out what God has made them to be.
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“To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer… If Christ himself was perfected through his sufferings, why would I believe God would not want the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying “ Yes” when the world says “No.’ By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. And by refusing to numb their pain in the myriad of ways available. They have come to know that when everyone and everything has left them, God is there… Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit. We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in waiting that our hearts are enlarged.”  Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge

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Love Quippy

Monday, June 18, 2012

A wasted life

This post comes directly from two blogs from wonderful Christian young women.

From these two ladies I learned of a fellow saint, close to my age. A blogger, photographer and passionate Christ follower.

In May,this young man was killed tragically after falling into rapids.

Though his soul is no longer here, it is resting in perfect peace, but he did leave something.
Something greater than stores of wealth or material goods, a beautiful legacy.

A legacy of surrendering all to God, so that He can have all glory and power and praise.

"Many are the plans of man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." pr 19:21

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"But, as it is written,
No eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has planned for those who love Him" 1 Cor 2:9

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"But He knows the ways that I take,
When He has tried me I shall come out as gold.
My foot has held fast to His steps,
I have kept His way and have not turned aside." Job 23:10,11

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Shortly before the Lord called Him, our fellow saint wrote a blog post.

He was on the top of a mountain, taking in a breath taking sunset. Filled with wonder, in complete awe of God.
Yet he was filled with longing for his 'one day true love'. Wanting to take in the beauty, to share the experience. He felt alone.

The post was called To Surrender a Precious Dream.
H wrote of how in this life, we are promised nothing, we are called to live our lives to bring FULL glory and praise to God.

His gave his precious dream to God. Allowing our Heavenly Father to become the center of his love. With no promise of his desire in return.

His last paragraph was this.

" To surrender a precious dream is fearful thing, but to pursue anything but the full measure of Gods glory is a life wasted."


There has been a challenge posted by Gods Daughter, to surrender all of our sweetest desires and dreams to our Father. So that we may be filled by Him, so that we may give our totally, whole selves, to God for HIS glory.

I am taking this challenge.

I ask you consider you to do the same as well.

Precious Dreams

> To marry a man on fire for God

> To have a home in the country

> To travel
> To have a home filled with children

> To make every one around my feel loved

> To raise godly Children

> To watch sunsets with my love

> To hold all my grandchildren

> To live heroically

> To live an unexpected life

> To have my children rise up and call me blessed

> To have a home where there are never any strangers

> To die in the arms of my love

In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my life, my strength, my all. This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest draught and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are still, when striving cease.
My comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I'll stand.