Some of you lovely people, who are most likely dividing your attention between my thoughts for the day and the show New Girl (which I might add was WAY over hyped for what it turned out to be) might not know that I am a sort of autodidact (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/autodidactic) (ya, that’s right, I knew you would need that.) By "sort" I mean this, I have always been homeschooled but as I got older I began to teach a few subjects to myself, such as literature, history, and math. This year I go to school 3 days a week at a special school (for us awesome people who don’t really know what kind of school their doing) for 1 to 3 hours and then come home, swim in homework and teach myself history and math. So I’m not a true autodidact but like I said, there really isn’t a name for what I do. All this is a lead up to the fact that I have had very tiring school week. And (that’s right mom, I just started a sentence with "and") what I mean by tiring is that feeling that your brain is just like a clock, doing what you are supposed to do and say but not really meaning or feeling anything. If someone showed me a 30 second video and asked me what I thought of it, well, I can see three possible answers. 1. I fall asleep, 2.My eyes melted like in Indiana Jones and I flew away with butterfly wings 3. I wouldn’t even know. At this point I’m not really sure which one is more likely than the other. I am now wondering (now this is going to sound silly but don’t be a hater) if this is what public schoollers feel like. I really have no idea what it would be like to sit and listen to teachers talk from 9-4 and then go home and try to recreate what they taught me. Us less traditionally taught people often get annoyed at those in the system because a majority of those people seem in a way, all the same. What I mean by this is girls straighten their hair, put it in a pony tail, wear track shorts and a white v-neck. Or skinny jeans with straight layered hair, and too much eye liner. Of course this isn’t all of them, I know public schooled people who aren’t like that at all, but as a majority they seem very similar. Also to be in this school setting you must play a sport, after every game you must facebook how you love your team mates, and how your team beasted. Show picture of you and your besties in a dressing room playing dress up, with your heads tipped down. This of course is the girls and once again I must stress that this is the impressions I get from allot (not all) public schoollers. This seems like a very long rabbit trail but it has a point. The point being that I wonder if one of the reasons they act a certain way (besides wanting to be being popular) is because they always feel how I feel right now. So mentally "done" that one has no personal feelings or convictions left. Wow this is a long post...I can almost feel my eyes beginning to drip, and some sort of flutter on by back...but I really wonder, because the homeschooled crowd can be exceedingly judgmental as I have learned from personal experience, if this strange conforming habits those kids get into to is because they (as I feel now) just don’t have any mental room left. I could completely be wrong, I probably am, but its an interesting thought none the less.
p.s It is surprisingly difficult to come up with quotes I feel like showing the world, so when I can find none I shall post my favorite song (which changes at least once a day)
Fever by Michael Buble'
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